I hate men.
Well, that’s what my audience believes about me. On the list of things they think of when they watch me on their phones, “Shreeum hates men” is probably sitting comfortably in spot number two. After, of course, “the baddest diva of them all”. No, I’m not vain, shut up.
And the thing is, I know exactly when this super endearing quality of mine began to shine bright on their screens. It was the summer of 2024, back when people were, honestly, exactly as they are now, but less dependent on ChatGPT. I guess? Oh, and vaping was still cool. I was fresh out of what I can only now describe as the relationship that almost killed me, with my bright future sprawled in front of me. And what did I do with this feeling of freedom and bravery and possibility?
I began to unravel online.
Not in the “hysterical woman goes berserk after dating yet another jerk” way, but by speaking of the horrors of not just that one traumatic relationship - I truthfully recounted almost all my romantic encounters with men.
I went to therapy, I swore off dating, and every day, I peeled back the layers of what in the fuckity fuck was going on with my luck whilst choosing these men. In front of my close, tight-knit group of friends, the entire internet.
One video became two, 10,000 followers became 80,000, a year passed and then came the itch. I was finally out of things to say. I needed a fresh new dose of my favourite drug- heartbreak.
You see, when you’ve created all the permutations and combinations of what was and what could have been in your head, you start viewing dating as a super strange experiment in human psychology. And if I’m being honest, I have never cared for psychology, but this was the only excuse I could use to plausibly refill the data tab in my brain. Like a drugless addict, I did what most relationship scientists would cuss me out for doing - I downloaded Hinge.
But I didn’t want love anymore. Right? Wasn’t it unfeminist of me to actually care about a man? Disgusting. So what was the harm? I’d go on dates, get them to spill their lore and obliterate them online- so healthy? Right?Wrong.
After dedicating a whole year to this scholarly approach to dating, you might be expecting a whole slew of horror stories. But girl, it was so much worse.
I spoke to one man. Went on one date. And now, it’s 2026, and I’m a vile, horrible, nasty woman in love.
Yes, I know. I hate myself too.
But mom, he’s different!
So how did a man convince the newly crowned man-hater into being a lover girl? I don’t know - he just didn’t behave like the men I’d been with, known, observed or befriended? (Maybe I’m gay, next experiment unlocked)
He was 6’5’, and that helped, but I like to believe that after 6 years in the murky waters of modern-day dating, the charm of a tree-like man wears off. So what was it?Maybe he was kind and didn’t look at politics as unfriendly chatter, wasn’t intimidated by my elder sister's “I will do it all” energy, and, honestly, maybe it was that he didn’t hate me.
The problem with the men I was dating wasn’t that they were different from most men; they were all the same. Entitled, angry, hard for movies like Dhurandhar. But this one, hmm.
- He didn’t care for Dhurandhar.
- He wasn’t pretending to be more masculine just to take off my granny panties.
- He didn’t think equality in a relationship meant splitting the bill.
- He didn’t assume he was smarter than me or could drive better than me.
- He didn’t drive.
- And he would find this listicle hilarious.
I’d met my match (yuck, he was a man, but still)I think after 6 years of kissing frogs and mastering the skill of making bad relationships a commodity, I found someone who didn’t fit the bill of what it meant to be a man. And I love that. I love him.
So dear reader, here’s the takeaway - you probably don’t need a man to live a happy life filled with love. Men, by virtue of who they are, aren’t all that. But if the itch occurs, scratch it, and try to find one who realises what the revised definition of manhood is. Even if he has to revise it for you.
And if that fails, be sure to make a video about it.
Love,
A man hater, who loves a man who loves her more.
About the author : Shreeum Rakheja is a content creator, lifestyle and fashion stylist, and entrepreneur. She is best known as a co-founder of the digital community platform She'sAces and for her active presence on Instagram, where she shares her life, thoughts on men, mood boards for girly pops, and playlists for every human activity there is.
Support the author :
We're an independent magazine that is finding its footing and here's how you can help- Shatter the illusion of capitalism with one contribution at a time and consider supporting this writer who made you laugh/cry directly : smriti.bhoker@okaxis
Comments